TheROFLwaffle

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http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,343031,00.html

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…The shortened version.

This idea has been troubling me for a while. How in the world can I make money blogging without any current traffic? After long hours into the night of reading, scribbling down notes, bookmarking sites (and site pages), I have finally come to these conclusions.

1. Be creative? My ass. Steal someone else’s idea, optimize it, then whore it out.

2. Quit your job. In fact, stop doing anything that doesn’t apply to blogging, and put a big down payment on a badass computer chair. These ones look pretty sleek:

But if you’re gonna be mister fancy, throw a surround sound system on those bad boys.

As a side note: be prepared to lose interest in sex, video games, and reality. Things like those will only distract you from your main goal, which is to blog, and blog so often that a viewer can refresh the page and have something new to read. Reality is probably the most distracting. Be cautious.

3. Get a loan from the bank, pull out about $500,000. That will easily keep you financially stable while you pay for your site advertisement, web hosting, site design, and slaves (because of course those first 300 diggs are a pain and you definitely need them)

4. Make sure you comply with all Google’s terms of service, so they don’t cheat you out of ad revenue money. To get on their good side, move to an apartment building right near their corporate offices, then offer to take them out to coffee every morning. Always bring your laptop though, so you can update your Twitter account (because everyone wants to know if and when you’re hanging out with Google) and so you can continue blogging.

5. Be prepared to kiss a LOT of ass. Common ass-kissing practices are:

-Paying for you mother-in-law’s coffee, food, and movie tickets when you go out. (Yes, you may use some of the $500,000 loan)

-Take a 5×5 foot picture of your bare ass (or anyone else’s ass, for that matter), tape it to your wall, blindfold yourself, then play pin the tail on the donkey…with your lips.

6. Make sure you stock up on power blogging drinks

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When I think of March, three things come to mind: Green, Lepricons, and Ale. But among those thoughts, are the lonely Irish people. These people not only have a vast amount of people ignorantly celebrating their heritage, they also get a parade that they don’t let the gays march in. To do them a favor, let us commemorate their true heritage. First, let us find some Irish people to commemorate! Can you find the Irish people?

I count three so far…on to page two!

I count two more! That’s five so far! I wonder if we can find some more!

Seven so far, I wonder if there’s actually more Irish people on photobucket?

3 more for a grand total of ten! But look at those poser Irish people. Those are the ones to avoid.

Here’s a tip for you EXTREME Irish finders: Right click > View image (this is how it is in firefox, using another browser is for the hard chargers) to see exactly who is Irish.

Until next time, we bid thee farewell, March.

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Earlier this evening, a forum called “Pokeclipse” was hacked by what seemed to be trolls. The genius who did the dirty work changed the site from this:

To this:

Soon afterwards, the administrator posted a thread proclaiming “Dear Trolls,

You have won. We have nothing left to do. You deleted our Admins, you destroyed our hope, you..you’re a bunch of assholes. I hope you’re happy. You’re the meanest bunch of internet trolls ever. WHAT HAVE YOU ACCOMPLISHED?! NOTHING?! YOU GUYS ARE SCUM OF THE EARTH! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU ALL! WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING! DO YOU HAVE NO LIFE?! ARE YOU SOME STUPID IDIOT WHO KICKS KIDS WHO WALKS BY?! YOU GUYS SUCK. YOU GUYS SUCK HARD! I HATE YOU ALL. YOU KILLED MEW2-CHAN! GO BACK TO THE HELL FROM WHICH YOU CAME YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS! GO TO HELL”

Then at the end, the user admitted that the entire forum was a joke. A place made to pretend that they believed pokemon were real. A hilarious project, if I do say so myself. Good going, “Mew2″, a job well done.

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All designers have had it: that one day where there’s some free time, in the mood to get a huge chunk of coding done, and we just can’t seem to start writing anything. I can say from experience that it really, truly sucks when you’re all fired up to get things done and you’re shooting blanks. Here are a few things that I (and you can too) do to help this coding syndrome:

1. Look at other designs - Whenever I have designers block, especially at the beginning of the project, I have no idea where to start or what the layout should look like. The best way I’ve found is to look at other sites and layouts. There is even a few places that list excellent layouts for you!

I’ve done some of the looking for you:

http://www.smashingmagazine.com/2006/1…

http://designcharts.com/

http://www.go2web20.net/

http://www.openwebdesign.org/most_popular.phtml

Even some premium layout (or even free ones) sites are good to look through, such as:

http://www.openwebdesign.org/most_popular.phtml

http://www.templatemonster.com

2. Leave the computer - I know, I know, sounds ridiculous, right? Leaving your computer sounds like the last thing you will ever need (or want) to do to fight designers block, but it truly helps. Go to a coffee shop, go see a movie, call up an old friend, sit and watch your favorite t.v. show — anything that will release your mind from stressful thoughts! A few things that I do when I need some release consist of:

• Making a cup of coffee
• Reading a book
• Piece a puzzle together
• Watch a good mystery or comedy movie
• Look up a new cooking recipe and try something new
• Waste time on a video game (Warning: MAY CAUSE “I just wasted my entire day playing Guitar Hero III” SYNDROME)

3. Fight your distractions - Contradicting what I just suggested, sometimes we simply need less things in our way so we can focus. A lot of times, seemingly unnoticeable things can stress us out in the back our minds. When you sit down and prepare to code, take a second and look around your room/office/apartment, make sure there’s nothing that’s in your way that will stop you from focusing. Messy working areas normally make it harder to focus on what needs to be done.

4. Avoid places with too much information -Sometimes, taking a breather before working can be a bad thing, because you’re telling your subconsciousness, “Hey bud, I’m going to take a walk, but you stay proactive for me for when I get back”. Then, even though you said it politely, your subconsciousness gets jealous because it wants to go out on a walk too. So to spite you, it clocks out of work. When you get back you waste 3 hours talking to friends on AIM and then open up iTunes and listen to some music or you get distracted when you head over to Digg or check up on your RSS feeds (I personally use Netvibes). Then, all of a sudden, it happens. All at once you remember that you were going to get things done and you highly regret taking the walk, all the while your subconsciousness is telling you, “So, are you going to take me WITH you next time?”

To avoid wasting what was going to be a productive day (and to avoid pissing your subconsciousness off), sit down, check up on a few subscriptions of yours, preferably ones that will take only 10 minutes to read.

All in all, it really depends what mood you’re in and what particularly works for you. Some may find one approach much more successful than another, try each one and see which one works for you.

Good luck on all your designing adventures!

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This video was linked to me the other day and I just had to post it up. It’s an incredible video, and it really makes you think. The video quality is great, too.

Tell me what you think!

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Beware. It’s coming.

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I hope you all have a great new years, I’m going to be uh…here. Doing nothing except working on the site, anticipating my new video camera, thinking up last minute ideas for the vlogging project (children of awesome!)

Nobody is reading, but hey, if you’re a lurker or even a person I know. Happy new years!

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1. Make a rap song

2. Play said rap song in front of an audience

3. Collect a certain type of action figure

4. Buy a box of poptarts

5. Eat the box of poptarts (may or may not include plastic wrappers and cardboard box)

6. Eat a bunny

7. Watch 7 hours of Bugs Bunny in a row

8. Practice dodgeball for a whole day then tell all your friends you’re a master

9. Make a notebook and fill it with every single thought that comes into your head

10. Learn how to sow
Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 100% [?]